Why Embracing the "Tepid Yes" Works for Our Creative Happiness
Reading Notes
7-9 Minute Read | Laptop or Tablet Recommended
Topics and Themes
Patience in commitment; The "Tepid Yes" concept; A framework for categorizing commitment levels
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After the success of Titanic, director James Cameron waited years for the right technology to develop so that he could create Avatar. He believed in the idea but didn’t commit to it immediately. He was unconvinced that the visual effects industry could bring his vision to the big screen. Instead, he bided his time, focused on the story, and patiently watched as 3D filmmaking and motion capture advanced enough to realize his vision fully. When the time was right, he pounced.
Cameron's commitment to ensuring that every aspect of Avatar was worthy of the time and resources invested into it paid off. The film became one of the highest-grossing of all time and received critical acclaim for its innovative visual effects.
This story reminds me that it’s okay to be patient. It reminds me that I can wait on an idea until it's time has come. It reminds me that I can have many ideas simmering in the background. We don’t need to commit to everything right away, as James Cameron did with Avatar.
The challenge is knowing which commitments deserve our full attention. Truly, we could all do ourselves a huge solid by being more thoughtful about not only what we say yes to, but also how much to commit to them. Instead of charging forth, giving our full, undivided, honor-is-on-the-line commitment to everything we've said yes to, why not give most of them a tepid-yes and let them simmer?
Most options out there don’t deserve any commitment whatsoever. I believe that 99% of the options that get presented to me are pretty trashy. But when I do find an idea, project, or option that resonates deeply, I don’t have to go all in, right from the start. It’s better to match the commitment to the project’s actual importance, at any one time. It's better to remain flexible and assess how much energy a project truly needs before blindly jumping in, thus expending our time and energy wastefully.
Examples Proving When A Tepid Yes Works In Your Favor
There are tons of examples of well-known companies giving a casual, tepid yes to projects, simply to see if they are worth a more hard-core yes later on. Google is a great role model in this respect. They only invest fully when an idea proves itself in their labs. Google Calendar started as a small project. After a tepid yes, Google escalated their commitment to the project as its potential became clear. The rest is history.
I appreciate the "tepid yes" because it allows me to explore without feeling trapped. This way, I avoid the sunk cost fallacy and can step back if something no longer serves me. Amazon did this with its Fire tablet. The product failed, but Amazon didn’t cling to it. They committed just enough to gauge its success and pulled the plug when it was clear it wouldn’t work.
Rating The Level of Commitment
Some commitments are minimal, like deciding whether or not to grab a cheap salad for lunch. I consider these level one commitments. They are many in number and have the smallest amount of trade-off if you don't do them. Changing one's mind is easy with level-one commitments.
Level five commitments are significant, like marriage, raising children, or a deep commitment to a chosen profession. They are few in number but of outsized importance. They are so intregal to our lives that not honoring them is both unthinkable and painful.
As I mentioned, level one commitments are largest in quantity but smallest in importance. Level five commitments are smallest in quantity but largest in importance.
This undeniably simple graphic (created by the office intern who is a juvenile graphic designer-wannabe, who has a poster of Jan Tschichold in his bedroom, who is a gushing fanboy of Edward Tufte, whose Mom is super proud of his work) shows it best:
A ridiculously stupid-looking graphic that gets the point across… I can only fucking hope.
The Downsides of Misjudging Commitment Levels
Misjudging your level of commitment can lead to several nasty problems. A lack of critical thinking can develop into a habit if we don’t fully consider what we say yes to. That's dangerous! Overcommitting forces you, out of the necessity of saving time, to look past the details. There's a reason why the saying "the devil's in the details" is a cliche.
Burnout is another risk. Committing too quickly or too deeply will drain us, especially if a project demands more time and energy than we expected.
Let's not forget about the dangers of unrealistic expectations, inflexibility, and the pressure we place on others to capitulate to what we committed to. Further, think of all the great opportunities you'd forgo if you just committed to a whole mess of really crappy ideas. Yuck.
A Framework for Judging The Scale of Commitment
To avoid overcommitting, it helps to write down what we’ve said yes to and evaluate it soberly.
Start by writing down your commitment on a piece of paper or text file. Then, rate your answers to these questions on a scale of 1 to 5:
How worthy is this person/path/idea/option of your full commitment?
How good do you feel when you fully commit?
How unthinkable is it to abandon this commitment?
How aware are you of the trade-offs and benefits of staying committed?
How dire are the consequences of stepping back from your commitment?
The higher the average number, the higher the commitment level you need to give to it.
In Conclusion
Overall, it's best to relish saying no, way before you even get committed in the first place. As I mentioned, most of all the options out there are super trashy and trivial. But when you do say yes, it doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing declaration. It can be a lukewarm, tepid yes. It can be a "let’s see if this works" kind of yes. It can be a "you’ve got 30 days to prove yourself" kind of yes. It can be a "perhaps, buddy. Perhaps." It can be a long, molasses-slow "maybe."
Opt for the tepid yes, especially when the big commitments (like kids, marriage, family, and our professional aspirations) deserve most of our energy and commitment.